I puked a lego.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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