is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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