I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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