I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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