I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My balls are so social today.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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