seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.