Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
