we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
