meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
