i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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