He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
