Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
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