I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize