Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
