I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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