My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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