oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
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She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
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If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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