I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?