What a fucking waste of an outfit
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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