you traded sex for a burrito?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
