I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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