Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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