i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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