Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize