Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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