you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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