is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
