I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize