I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
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After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
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I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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