Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
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he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
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Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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