I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
