A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
