youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
