I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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