My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize