I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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