I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
