Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Randomize
