That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Barsexuality is the new black.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize