the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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