garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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