Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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