i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
