Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
