so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
