and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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