Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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