the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
