I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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