I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
