Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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