Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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