ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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