A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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