If i come over, it means nothing
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
