Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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