Can i not drive my cunt home
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
