That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
