i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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