What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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